Well, it has been a LONG time since I have written something here. But I think I am going to start back writing here - to put my thoughts and feelings down AND to put down what happens in my daily life. I don't think I need to worry about anyone reading it - I don't think many people ever read it when I gave them the blog address. And I really doubt that anyone in my family will read it (except maybe a sister).
Anyway - to start - I have been feeling pretty crappy this week. Ann, Carole and I were trying to get a family get-together going this year. I didn't want to be the one to have to organize it but somehow I wound up doing it anyway. Put out an e-mail - not much response. Mike and Jenny both said they would definitely be there. Thomas said his dad said yes. Rick said he couldn't - Austin still in school (this is over Memorial Day weekend). And of course I heard from Ann and Pat that they would be there. So - put out another e-mail telling the family that I needed to know this week yes or no as we needed to put reservations on a house if we were all going to get together. And then I heard a "maybe - but only for one night" from Jerry but daughters probably wouldn't come; Aunt Dixie had other plans for then; Michele said no they couldn't afford it (she needs to talk to her husband about saying yes to Thomas); and then Jenny (who had said yes) said she didn't know cause Alan might not be able to get off. Put the e-mail out on Sunday and here it is Tuesday night and that is all I have heard from. Put me in a downright depressed and then angry mood. I can't get this family to want to get to know each other for anything. My family newsletters and pleas for news from each family goes unanswered. I tell everyone when birthdays are coming up but no cards are ever sent to anyone. I know everyone gets busy with their own thing - but someday......they will all wish they had spent more time with family. I know I do but my words now are falling on very DEAF ears.
So....I am pretty sure the family get-together will be cancelled and Pat, Ann, Carole and I will probably get together ourselves and go to Branson. I am still hoping Larry and Marilyn can come but they probably won't. Vince had prostate surgery and may not be up to a trip and I understand that Marilyn would not want to leave him. And if Larry can't come (which I wish he would), maybe Betty would come. And I WILL NOT BE INVOLVED in planning another family get-together.
I have been talking with the Lord and I think I expect too much from my family and they have definitely been disappointing me. So now I won't expect ANYTHING from them and maybe I will be ok. I am not sending out any more family newsletters except to my siblings, Aunt Dixie, and Mike. And the birthday cards are now going to stop. I know it is petty - but for all the cards I have sent to EVERY MEMBER of my family for several years now, the only ones who send me cards are my siblings.
So starting now - things are going to change. I know who I can depend on and who really cares - my sisters and brother. But most of all - GOD CARES. Through all this and through everything in my life I know God is always there with me, beside me and guiding me. Thank you Lord!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, June 1, 2009
DAY TWO
Day Two of our weekend wasn't nearly as exciting as Friday. But we did see some beautiful sites. We stopped at Pine Mountain State Park in Pineville, Kentucky. Stopped at a couple overlooks and took some pictures ..........
Then we drove to the top and took a couple pictures showing how far down it was ... or should I say - how far UP we were!!!
Then we went to an area that had some trails. But after the day before, we knew we did not want any kind of trail that was even the least bit difficult. We wanted a simple, easy, semi-flat trail!!!! And we found one. We took the dogs and went for a little hike. Took some pictures of the trees and rhododendron bushes. And then Terri and Fannie Mae went for a little hike UP a trail while Envi and I sat and listened to the quiet. I captured Envi in what I think is one of the best pictures I have ever taken of her. What do you think????
I topped off our visit to Pine Mountain State Park with these last few pictures of Mountain Laurel. I see them becoming bookmarks in the near future for God's Little Blessings Bookmarks. We had a wonderful weekend with lots of fun and adventure. God blessed us with good friendship, good weather and again - beautiful, beautiful examples of His "Beauty in Nature."
Then we drove to the top and took a couple pictures showing how far down it was ... or should I say - how far UP we were!!!
Then we went to an area that had some trails. But after the day before, we knew we did not want any kind of trail that was even the least bit difficult. We wanted a simple, easy, semi-flat trail!!!! And we found one. We took the dogs and went for a little hike. Took some pictures of the trees and rhododendron bushes. And then Terri and Fannie Mae went for a little hike UP a trail while Envi and I sat and listened to the quiet. I captured Envi in what I think is one of the best pictures I have ever taken of her. What do you think????
I topped off our visit to Pine Mountain State Park with these last few pictures of Mountain Laurel. I see them becoming bookmarks in the near future for God's Little Blessings Bookmarks. We had a wonderful weekend with lots of fun and adventure. God blessed us with good friendship, good weather and again - beautiful, beautiful examples of His "Beauty in Nature."
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT!!!
Terri and I had a terrific weekend this weekend. We drove to Corbin, Kentucky to take her sister Melody to meet their brother Pat who was taking Melody back to Indiana for a 2-week visit. After they left for Indiana, Terri and I spent the night at Corbin and went to Cumberland Falls again and then to Pine Mountain State Park. But this blog is about the adventure we had on Friday afternoon at Cumberland Falls.
To begin with, we arrived at the Falls and it was a big difference from last August. With all the rain, the Falls were very full.
But they were still very pretty. We hiked around the area and stopped and talked to a park volunteer. She told us about some more falls on the other side of the river and how to get there. It sounded like a quick hike and a chance to see some more falls - Eagle Falls. So off we went to the trail on the other side. Thus the adventure begins. Let me tell you - this trail was NOT an easy trail but we didn't know that until we were already on our way. (And in our excitement for more pictures and nature, I did something I NEVER do - I forgot my cell phone and left it in the car.)
The trail started fairly easy and we saw this unusual site - a HUGE growth or something on this tree. Kind of weird, huh?!!
Then the trail started to get difficult. Here is our progress going to the top. At the top we stopped and saw Cumberland Falls from that side of the river and it was beautiful. But still had not found Eagle Falls.
So, we continued on........
The trail was not as wide or very well marked. We went up hills, down hills, over trees, rocks.... finally we saw some metal steps going down toward the river. We thought - we are almost there!!! And then it was........WHERE'S THE TRAIL??????
We could not see a trail - so Terri went up ahead - over rocks and more rocks. I went over a few but thought I had better stop before I slipped and twisted an ankle. Terri went around a corner and then came back and said the falls were there but to get there we would have to climb over bunches of rocks and the falls really weren't that impressive. So - all that and we didn't get to see the "beautiful" falls this lady told us about. I hope she was having a good chuckle on sending us on this "little hike"!!! And if that disappointment wasn't bad enough, WE STILL HAD TO HIKE BACK TO THE CAR!!!!! And as you can see, it was not an easy hike back either!!!
But WE MADE IT!!!! We figured we hiked about 3 miles over a very difficult trail, with no cell phone in case we got hurt, and still didn't get to see the falls. But would I do it again - YES!!! It was strenuous but we had a good time and laughed about it alot. But as you can see by this last picture, I was VERY GLAD TO SEE MY LITTLE CAR!!!!
We had a fun time but I was very thankful to the Lord for watching out for us and keeping us safe. If we had slipped and hurt ourselves, we had no way to contact anyone. But the Lord was watching over us. Our next hiking adventure on Saturday wasn't nearly as exciting!!!!
To begin with, we arrived at the Falls and it was a big difference from last August. With all the rain, the Falls were very full.
But they were still very pretty. We hiked around the area and stopped and talked to a park volunteer. She told us about some more falls on the other side of the river and how to get there. It sounded like a quick hike and a chance to see some more falls - Eagle Falls. So off we went to the trail on the other side. Thus the adventure begins. Let me tell you - this trail was NOT an easy trail but we didn't know that until we were already on our way. (And in our excitement for more pictures and nature, I did something I NEVER do - I forgot my cell phone and left it in the car.)The trail started fairly easy and we saw this unusual site - a HUGE growth or something on this tree. Kind of weird, huh?!!
Then the trail started to get difficult. Here is our progress going to the top. At the top we stopped and saw Cumberland Falls from that side of the river and it was beautiful. But still had not found Eagle Falls.
So, we continued on........
The trail was not as wide or very well marked. We went up hills, down hills, over trees, rocks.... finally we saw some metal steps going down toward the river. We thought - we are almost there!!! And then it was........WHERE'S THE TRAIL??????
We could not see a trail - so Terri went up ahead - over rocks and more rocks. I went over a few but thought I had better stop before I slipped and twisted an ankle. Terri went around a corner and then came back and said the falls were there but to get there we would have to climb over bunches of rocks and the falls really weren't that impressive. So - all that and we didn't get to see the "beautiful" falls this lady told us about. I hope she was having a good chuckle on sending us on this "little hike"!!! And if that disappointment wasn't bad enough, WE STILL HAD TO HIKE BACK TO THE CAR!!!!! And as you can see, it was not an easy hike back either!!!
But WE MADE IT!!!! We figured we hiked about 3 miles over a very difficult trail, with no cell phone in case we got hurt, and still didn't get to see the falls. But would I do it again - YES!!! It was strenuous but we had a good time and laughed about it alot. But as you can see by this last picture, I was VERY GLAD TO SEE MY LITTLE CAR!!!!
We had a fun time but I was very thankful to the Lord for watching out for us and keeping us safe. If we had slipped and hurt ourselves, we had no way to contact anyone. But the Lord was watching over us. Our next hiking adventure on Saturday wasn't nearly as exciting!!!!Monday, March 23, 2009
"TIKI" - 10/21/94 - 3/23/09
The following is an excerpt from an article written by Hilary Brown of VetPet Partners. I found this the other night and it sums up very well all the thoughts, anxiety, fears, and pain I have faced making the decision that we did this weekend - to put the last of the "original 4 dogs" - Tiki - to rest. Her pain has been getting progressively worse and we would not ask her to stay longer, in pain, just for us to love her. I don't know if pets go to heaven to meet us there later but I want to think that right now Tiki is running around heaven in the green grass with Thea, Fancy, and Spirit. She was our "sweet little blessing". I LOVE YOU TIKI - REST WELL.
..."When I am faced with the ultimate decision about how I can best serve the animal I love so much, I try to set aside all the complications and rationales of what I may or may not understand medically and I try to clear my mind of any of the confusions and ups and downs that are so much a part of caring for a terminally ill pet. This is hard to do, because for months and often years we have been in this mode of weighing hard data, labs, food, how many ounces did she drink, should she have her rabies shot or not, etc. But at some point it's time to put all of that in the academic folder and open the spiritual folder instead. At that point we are wise to ask ourselves the question: "Does SHE want to be here today, to experience this day in this way, as much as I want her to?"
Remember dogs are NOT afraid, they are NOT carrying anxiety and fear of the unknown. So for them it's only about whether this day holds enough companionship and ease and routine so that they would choose to have those things more than anything else and that they are able to focus on those things beyond any discomfort or pain or frustration they may feel. How great is her burden of illness THIS day, and does she want/need to live through THIS day with this burden of illness as much as I want/need her to? If I honestly believe that her condition is such, her pleasures sufficient, that she would choose to persevere, then that's the answer and we press on.
If, on the other hand, I can look honestly and bravely at the situation and admit that SHE, with none of the fear or sadness that cripples me, would choose instead to rest, then my obligation is clear. Because she needs to know in her giant heart, beyond any doubt, that I WILL have the courage to make the hard decisions on her behalf, that I will always put her peace before my own, and that I am able to love her as unselfishly as she has loved me.
After many years, and so very many loved ones now living on joyously in their forever home in my heart, this is the view I take...... The law of my state says the veterinarian is the one licensed to administer the shot, not me. But a much higher law says this is my ultimate gift to my dog and the responsibility that I undertook on the day I welcomed that dog into my life forever."
..."When I am faced with the ultimate decision about how I can best serve the animal I love so much, I try to set aside all the complications and rationales of what I may or may not understand medically and I try to clear my mind of any of the confusions and ups and downs that are so much a part of caring for a terminally ill pet. This is hard to do, because for months and often years we have been in this mode of weighing hard data, labs, food, how many ounces did she drink, should she have her rabies shot or not, etc. But at some point it's time to put all of that in the academic folder and open the spiritual folder instead. At that point we are wise to ask ourselves the question: "Does SHE want to be here today, to experience this day in this way, as much as I want her to?"
Remember dogs are NOT afraid, they are NOT carrying anxiety and fear of the unknown. So for them it's only about whether this day holds enough companionship and ease and routine so that they would choose to have those things more than anything else and that they are able to focus on those things beyond any discomfort or pain or frustration they may feel. How great is her burden of illness THIS day, and does she want/need to live through THIS day with this burden of illness as much as I want/need her to? If I honestly believe that her condition is such, her pleasures sufficient, that she would choose to persevere, then that's the answer and we press on.
If, on the other hand, I can look honestly and bravely at the situation and admit that SHE, with none of the fear or sadness that cripples me, would choose instead to rest, then my obligation is clear. Because she needs to know in her giant heart, beyond any doubt, that I WILL have the courage to make the hard decisions on her behalf, that I will always put her peace before my own, and that I am able to love her as unselfishly as she has loved me.
After many years, and so very many loved ones now living on joyously in their forever home in my heart, this is the view I take...... The law of my state says the veterinarian is the one licensed to administer the shot, not me. But a much higher law says this is my ultimate gift to my dog and the responsibility that I undertook on the day I welcomed that dog into my life forever."
Monday, March 9, 2009
MARCH 10, 2009
I'M BACK!!! I know it has been over 2 months since I last blogged. Sometimes one just needs to step back and think about things and then when the time is right - get back to writing. And I think the time is right again. Christmas is over and a new year has begun.
Tomorrow is March 10, 2009 - 5 years since Mom passed away. I still miss Mom a whole lot but I also know she is in a much better place. I like to think she is doing what a Christian singer sings about - "dancing in the field with Jesus!!!" And I like to think that Thea is there with her also - keeping her company. Whether she is or not (only God knows at this time) - it makes me feel happy.
Yesterday I made my annual trek to the top of the mountain to release a balloon for Mom. It was a perfect balloon for her - it had two teddy bears and said "I Love You". Terri went with me (she has never gone with me before). We got up there and instead of going over to the overlook we went to the other side into a field. I sat for awhile and talked to God and then waited for a gust of wind and let the balloon go. Well, it went straight into the trees!!! And yes, it got stuck. At first I thought - oh great, terrific, now what. But then I stopped and just asked God to please release the balloon and get it to Mom. Terri and I watched for awhile and the balloon did not come out. Finally it moved a little but the string was attached to the tree and it was not going anywhere. Terri said it would probably not come loose but I told her that yes it would. I knew God would release it from the tree and it would go up. I might not see it but I knew He would.
So we got in the car and started to leave. As we were driving out of the parking lot, I glanced back at the tree and YES - the balloon was free and was going up in the air!!!! I yelled and Terri looked and saw it also!! God is so WONDERFUL!! I knew he would release it but was so humbled and thankful that He let me witness it. It just showed me again how much He loves me.
The rest of the day after that was beautiful - warm and happy and I felt such a peace. It is still sad when I think of Mom being gone from here but I am so happy for her that she is with Jesus and I will see her again.
I LOVE YOU MOM!!!
Tomorrow is March 10, 2009 - 5 years since Mom passed away. I still miss Mom a whole lot but I also know she is in a much better place. I like to think she is doing what a Christian singer sings about - "dancing in the field with Jesus!!!" And I like to think that Thea is there with her also - keeping her company. Whether she is or not (only God knows at this time) - it makes me feel happy.
Yesterday I made my annual trek to the top of the mountain to release a balloon for Mom. It was a perfect balloon for her - it had two teddy bears and said "I Love You". Terri went with me (she has never gone with me before). We got up there and instead of going over to the overlook we went to the other side into a field. I sat for awhile and talked to God and then waited for a gust of wind and let the balloon go. Well, it went straight into the trees!!! And yes, it got stuck. At first I thought - oh great, terrific, now what. But then I stopped and just asked God to please release the balloon and get it to Mom. Terri and I watched for awhile and the balloon did not come out. Finally it moved a little but the string was attached to the tree and it was not going anywhere. Terri said it would probably not come loose but I told her that yes it would. I knew God would release it from the tree and it would go up. I might not see it but I knew He would.
So we got in the car and started to leave. As we were driving out of the parking lot, I glanced back at the tree and YES - the balloon was free and was going up in the air!!!! I yelled and Terri looked and saw it also!! God is so WONDERFUL!! I knew he would release it but was so humbled and thankful that He let me witness it. It just showed me again how much He loves me.
The rest of the day after that was beautiful - warm and happy and I felt such a peace. It is still sad when I think of Mom being gone from here but I am so happy for her that she is with Jesus and I will see her again.
I LOVE YOU MOM!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)