Well, I think the season has officially changed from fall to winter. We are now running the heat instead of air-conditioning. Temperatures at night in the 30's and it snowed here on Saturday. Not a lot of snow but it did cover the ground. I am so not ready for winter again. Last winter was soooo cold and I am hoping it won't be like that again. I don't mind occasional cold weather but I like it nice and sunny. Not hot. That's why my favorite time of year is spring and fall. Here is an example of what was in my neck of the woods about a week ago. Now
the trees are almost bare. Winter is coming whether I like it or not.
What a beautiful day it was today! Perfect weather, trees are beginning to turn, morning glories are blooming each morning on our fence line, my cough has disappeared overnight - overall a very great day.
Had to take my little IG - Envi - to the clinic today. She was under the weather - not eating or drinking. Everything checked out normal but she was a little dehydrated so gave her sub-q fluids. She was so good today - stayed right under my desk and never left. Good?? Or intimidated???? Maybe a little of both. She met her first up close kitty today. She has seen them outside of our yard and loves to bark and try to chase them off. But this one was a little different. This one was teeny tiny - about 10 days old - and made a lot of noise. Not too sure she liked it. But she was curious. She was feeling much better tonight and ate a full meal!! My chow hound is back!!
Well, it has been a LONG time since I have written something here. But I think I am going to start back writing here - to put my thoughts and feelings down AND to put down what happens in my daily life. I don't think I need to worry about anyone reading it - I don't think many people ever read it when I gave them the blog address. And I really doubt that anyone in my family will read it (except maybe a sister).
Anyway - to start - I have been feeling pretty crappy this week. Ann, Carole and I were trying to get a family get-together going this year. I didn't want to be the one to have to organize it but somehow I wound up doing it anyway. Put out an e-mail - not much response. Mike and Jenny both said they would definitely be there. Thomas said his dad said yes. Rick said he couldn't - Austin still in school (this is over Memorial Day weekend). And of course I heard from Ann and Pat that they would be there. So - put out another e-mail telling the family that I needed to know this week yes or no as we needed to put reservations on a house if we were all going to get together. And then I heard a "maybe - but only for one night" from Jerry but daughters probably wouldn't come; Aunt Dixie had other plans for then; Michele said no they couldn't afford it (she needs to talk to her husband about saying yes to Thomas); and then Jenny (who had said yes) said she didn't know cause Alan might not be able to get off. Put the e-mail out on Sunday and here it is Tuesday night and that is all I have heard from. Put me in a downright depressed and then angry mood. I can't get this family to want to get to know each other for anything. My family newsletters and pleas for news from each family goes unanswered. I tell everyone when birthdays are coming up but no cards are ever sent to anyone. I know everyone gets busy with their own thing - but someday......they will all wish they had spent more time with family. I know I do but my words now are falling on very DEAF ears.
So....I am pretty sure the family get-together will be cancelled and Pat, Ann, Carole and I will probably get together ourselves and go to Branson. I am still hoping Larry and Marilyn can come but they probably won't. Vince had prostate surgery and may not be up to a trip and I understand that Marilyn would not want to leave him. And if Larry can't come (which I wish he would), maybe Betty would come. And I WILL NOT BE INVOLVED in planning another family get-together.
I have been talking with the Lord and I think I expect too much from my family and they have definitely been disappointing me. So now I won't expect ANYTHING from them and maybe I will be ok. I am not sending out any more family newsletters except to my siblings, Aunt Dixie, and Mike. And the birthday cards are now going to stop. I know it is petty - but for all the cards I have sent to EVERY MEMBER of my family for several years now, the only ones who send me cards are my siblings.
So starting now - things are going to change. I know who I can depend on and who really cares - my sisters and brother. But most of all - GOD CARES. Through all this and through everything in my life I know God is always there with me, beside me and guiding me. Thank you Lord!!
Terri and I had a terrific weekend this weekend. We drove to Corbin, Kentucky to take her sister Melody to meet their brother Pat who was taking Melody back to Indiana for a 2-week visit. After they left for Indiana, Terri and I spent the night at Corbin and went to Cumberland Falls again and then to Pine Mountain State Park. But this blog is about the adventure we had on Friday afternoon at Cumberland Falls.
To begin with, we arrived at the Falls and it was a big difference from last August. With all the rain, the Falls were very full.
But they were still very pretty. We hiked around the area and stopped and talked to a park volunteer. She told us about some more falls on the other side of the river and how to get there. It sounded like a quick hike and a chance to see some more falls - Eagle Falls. So off we went to the trail on the other side. Thus the adventure begins. Let me tell you - this trail was NOT an easy trail but we didn't know that until we were already on our way. (And in our excitement for more pictures and nature, I did something I NEVER do - I forgot my cell phone and left it in the car.)The trail started fairly easy and we saw this unusual site - a HUGE growth or something on this tree. Kind of weird, huh?!!
Then the trail started to get difficult. Here is our progress going to the top. At the top we stopped and saw Cumberland Falls from that side of the river and it was beautiful. But still had not found Eagle Falls.
So, we continued on........
The trail was not as wide or very well marked. We went up hills, down hills, over trees, rocks.... finally we saw some metal steps going down toward the river. We thought - we are almost there!!! And then it was........WHERE'S THE TRAIL??????
We could not see a trail - so Terri went up ahead - over rocks and more rocks. I went over a few but thought I had better stop before I slipped and twisted an ankle. Terri went around a corner and then came back and said the falls were there but to get there we would have to climb over bunches of rocks and the falls really weren't that impressive. So - all that and we didn't get to see the "beautiful" falls this lady told us about. I hope she was having a good chuckle on sending us on this "little hike"!!! And if that disappointment wasn't bad enough, WE STILL HAD TO HIKE BACK TO THE CAR!!!!! And as you can see, it was not an easy hike back either!!!
But WE MADE IT!!!! We figured we hiked about 3 miles over a very difficult trail, with no cell phone in case we got hurt, and still didn't get to see the falls. But would I do it again - YES!!! It was strenuous but we had a good time and laughed about it alot. But as you can see by this last picture, I was VERY GLAD TO SEE MY LITTLE CAR!!!!
We had a fun time but I was very thankful to the Lord for watching out for us and keeping us safe. If we had slipped and hurt ourselves, we had no way to contact anyone. But the Lord was watching over us. Our next hiking adventure on Saturday wasn't nearly as exciting!!!!
The following is an excerpt from an article written by Hilary Brown of VetPet Partners. I found this the other night and it sums up very well all the thoughts, anxiety, fears, and pain I have faced making the decision that we did this weekend - to put the last of the "original 4 dogs" - Tiki - to rest. Her pain has been getting progressively worse and we would not ask her to stay longer, in pain, just for us to love her. I don't know if pets go to heaven to meet us there later but I want to think that right now Tiki is running around heaven in the green grass with Thea, Fancy, and Spirit. She was our "sweet little blessing". I LOVE YOU TIKI - REST WELL.
..."When I am faced with the ultimate decision about how I can best serve the animal I love so much, I try to set aside all the complications and rationales of what I may or may not understand medically and I try to clear my mind of any of the confusions and ups and downs that are so much a part of caring for a terminally ill pet. This is hard to do, because for months and often years we have been in this mode of weighing hard data, labs, food, how many ounces did she drink, should she have her rabies shot or not, etc. But at some point it's time to put all of that in the academic folder and open the spiritual folder instead. At that point we are wise to ask ourselves the question: "Does SHE want to be here today, to experience this day in this way, as much as I want her to?"
Remember dogs are NOT afraid, they are NOT carrying anxiety and fear of the unknown. So for them it's only about whether this day holds enough companionship and ease and routine so that they would choose to have those things more than anything else and that they are able to focus on those things beyond any discomfort or pain or frustration they may feel. How great is her burden of illness THIS day, and does she want/need to live through THIS day with this burden of illness as much as I want/need her to? If I honestly believe that her condition is such, her pleasures sufficient, that she would choose to persevere, then that's the answer and we press on.
If, on the other hand, I can look honestly and bravely at the situation and admit that SHE, with none of the fear or sadness that cripples me, would choose instead to rest, then my obligation is clear. Because she needs to know in her giant heart, beyond any doubt, that I WILL have the courage to make the hard decisions on her behalf, that I will always put her peace before my own, and that I am able to love her as unselfishly as she has loved me.
After many years, and so very many loved ones now living on joyously in their forever home in my heart, this is the view I take...... The law of my state says the veterinarian is the one licensed to administer the shot, not me. But a much higher law says this is my ultimate gift to my dog and the responsibility that I undertook on the day I welcomed that dog into my life forever."
I'M BACK!!! I know it has been over 2 months since I last blogged. Sometimes one just needs to step back and think about things and then when the time is right - get back to writing. And I think the time is right again. Christmas is over and a new year has begun.
Tomorrow is March 10, 2009 - 5 years since Mom passed away. I still miss Mom a whole lot but I also know she is in a much better place. I like to think she is doing what a Christian singer sings about - "dancing in the field with Jesus!!!" And I like to think that Thea is there with her also - keeping her company. Whether she is or not (only God knows at this time) - it makes me feel happy.
Yesterday I made my annual trek to the top of the mountain to release a balloon for Mom. It was a perfect balloon for her - it had two teddy bears and said "I Love You". Terri went with me (she has never gone with me before). We got up there and instead of going over to the overlook we went to the other side into a field. I sat for awhile and talked to God and then waited for a gust of wind and let the balloon go. Well, it went straight into the trees!!! And yes, it got stuck. At first I thought - oh great, terrific, now what. But then I stopped and just asked God to please release the balloon and get it to Mom. Terri and I watched for awhile and the balloon did not come out. Finally it moved a little but the string was attached to the tree and it was not going anywhere. Terri said it would probably not come loose but I told her that yes it would. I knew God would release it from the tree and it would go up. I might not see it but I knew He would.
So we got in the car and started to leave. As we were driving out of the parking lot, I glanced back at the tree and YES - the balloon was free and was going up in the air!!!! I yelled and Terri looked and saw it also!! God is so WONDERFUL!! I knew he would release it but was so humbled and thankful that He let me witness it. It just showed me again how much He loves me.
The rest of the day after that was beautiful - warm and happy and I felt such a peace. It is still sad when I think of Mom being gone from here but I am so happy for her that she is with Jesus and I will see her again.
I LOVE YOU MOM!!!
Well, my hope of no more overwhelming sadness was dashed today. Felt ok when I first got to work. Then around 10:30 one of the veterinarians took my joking around with her wrong and she jumped all over me (which totally took me by surprise). Then shortly after that I had a client who was not taking no for an answer and after telling me I had no compassion and no love for pets who are part of everyone's family, I really started feeling bad. The not loving pets really hurt and all I could think of was Thea and Fancy again and how much I really really missed them and then I started missing Mom, missing having family close at Christmas or any time, miss having a family of my own (children, husband), and basically just feeling very NON CHRISTMASY!! Then my boss jokingly started giving me a hard time and that's when everything hit - the tears started pouring out of the old eyes and I basically ran from the room. Then the first vet came back to the breakroom to apologize and the tears started again. When I told her it wasn't just her, that there were other things - she tried to make me feel better by telling me that she knew it was hard - losing Mom, losing Thea and Fancy, not having family close. WAAAAAAA - talk about hitting everything right on the nose and having it right back in my face!!! I know she was trying to make me feel better and letting me know she understood, but boy it hit me hard and I couldn't stop crying. And one thing I don't like doing is losing control at work and crying. So the rest of the day was pretty lousy and I still feel like an emotional wreck. I came home and talked to Terri about it and started crying all over again. I pretty much feel like I could care less if Christmas came or not. I really really don't feel like being cheerful and Christmasy right now. Definitely not a good Christmas this year. Maybe next year will be better. Right now - I just wish it was all over.
Have you ever just been hit with a sudden, overwhelming feeling of sadness?? I was today - about 3:30 pm while sitting at my desk listening to Mindy and Sharon talking about something. You know I don't even remember what they were talking about. But whatever it was it triggered my sadness. My thoughts, my heart, my emotions were filled with images of Thea and Fancy. My heart hurt with missing them and remembering how much I dearly loved those two little dogs. I have not felt that sadness in quite a while and not since Thea died have I been hit with such an overwhelming feeling. In just a few minutes I felt like I was about to burst into tears that would not stop if I let them out. Tonight I am still feeling kind of emotionally spent (even though I did not break down and cry). I hope I don't have more periods of sadness like that for awhile. I really miss those two little dogs and loved them both so very much.
"In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." - Luke 2:1-7
What is Christmas? A time for buying and giving presents? A time for getting together with family and friends? A time for big meals and fun times? Yes, Christmas has all those things. But what is Christmas really about?
Christmas is about the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ - our Savior. The one who came down from heaven - the Son of God - and was born on this earth as a man for one purpose only. To die on the cross for our sins; to pay the price for our sin - death. He loved us so much, he died a horrible death so we can have the gift of salvation and live with Him forever in heaven. So, at this time we should be praising Him and celebrating His birth. And the gifts we give to our loved ones should be with the joy of loving Him. But more than that - we should be giving HIM our gifts. Our gift of love, praise, thanksgiving. Our gift of helping others as He would help others, doing things in His name and for His glory. Doing ALL things, no matter how big or small, for Jesus. I try to do all this because I love Him so much!!!
"Jesus, my Lord, thank you for YOUR gift to me of salvation so I can spend eternity praising you in Heaven. Help me to keep my eyes focused on YOU, to do everything I do, no matter how big or small, for YOUR glory and in Your Name. Bless this Christmas Season for my whole family and I pray they all know your love and that you will bless them in the year to come. I love you Jesus!!"
The forecast said a slight dusting in some areas. At 10:30 pm I went to let the girls out to potty and this is what I saw!!! And it was still snowing 2 hours later. I love watching it snow, especially when I know I don't have to go to work the next morning at 6 am. It was so peaceful and beautiful watching the snowflakes come down. The girls didn't especially like it. Had to push them out the door. But I sure liked it. And most of you are thinking - that's hardly any snow at all!! Well, when one lives in a part of the country where you don't get much snow at all - this is a lot of snow!! And - we usually don't get snow until after the first of the year so this was a pleasant surprise. Who knows - maybe we will get even more snow this year. I'll keep you posted.
Another birthday - another
year gone by. Time goes by so quickly anymore. And sometimes it seems like it takes forever for something to get done or happen. But then you realize it is God's Time and it is perfect!!! Today is my birthday. Nothing big planned for the day but it was a day to stop and thank God for his wonderful timing and for a wonderful blessed gift He gave to my very dear friends, Thom and Susan. And He gave them this gift yesterday - just in time to celebrate on my birthday. I feel like it is MY gift also as this family means so very much to me.
Almost 3 years ago, Thom and Susan took 2 adorable little girls into their home as foster children. Soon it became apparent that these two girls were going to need a permanent home. Thus began the days, months, and years of praying that God would bless Thom and Susan with the gift of these two children permanently. Then last year in December they also took into their home the newborn brother to the girls. Adam became a legal permanent part of their life this summer. But yesterday, after many months of prayer, the girls, Hazel and Emilly, legally became Thom and Susan's children. I have watched these two girls change from scared, lost little girls to confident, happy, laughing children. They are so precious and they along with their brother Adam are beautiful, precious gifts from God. And I am so happy and excited to be a part of their lives!!! "Thank you, thank you, thank you God for answering our prayers and bringing these children into not only Thom and Susan's lives but also mine. They are all so precious to me and I thank you for Susan's friendship which means so very much to me. I am so happy to call her my friend; and am so tickled to have the kids call me "Aunty Deb"!! You are an Awesome God and I love you Lord and praise your Holy Name!!"
Just tell me - who can resist this face?? This dog has a look to her that I have never seen before. There is so much expression in those eyes. And when it comes to a staring contest - she does NOT break contact. Only if you wave food at her!!! When this picture was taken - I was trying to get her attention by saying her name - and she definitely knows her name. She finally looked at me with that expression and it most definitely said - "Are you talking to me???" She may not be a dainty little Italian Greyhound but she is definitely unique, one of a kind and a very special "Unexpected Blessing!"
A couple days ago, I bought two new squeaky toys for "the girls". Well, really for Fannie and Envi as Tiki doesn't play with toys anymore. I bought two really cute fuzzy toys - one was a hedgehog and the other a bunny. A toy for each one. The bunny for Fannie (she is a beagle you know) and the hedgehog for Envi. And of course - just like kids - THEY BOTH WANTED THE SAME TOY!!!! As you can see, they were trying to pull the poor bunny apart. Each one wanted that darn bunny!! I couldn't help but laugh and of course, run to get my camera. Those two are just so funny. I had forgotten how hilarious younger dogs can be. Not that Tiki doesn't have her funny moments but she had more funny moments when she was younger. She is now a "mature" dog. And very dignified! (And very deaf!!!) Hahahahaha. She probably doesn't think that is funny. Anyway, the bunny is still intact and doing well (as shown in the other photo). And they are still fighting over who gets the bunny first!!! LOVE THOSE DOGS!!!
Yes - I have been blessed with a new addition. I did not think I would get another dog at this time but God had other plans. This is "Envi" (About Time's Blue With Envi). She is 2 years old, blue and white, Italian Greyhound. She came from a breeder in New Mexico who was not going to use her in her breeding program anymore. The first thing that attracted me was her color - I love the blue color. Upon further investigation I discovered she had the same bloodlines in her pedigree that Thea had (and I loved Thea's looks and disposition). After much prayer and thought, I inquired about her and ultimately bought her from the breeder. She was shipped via Delta Airlines and arrived safely on a Thursday night. She has been with us for over a month now and is definitely a member of the family. She quickly discovered that the couch was a great place to be, the bed at night was heavenly, and the backyard was made to run in!! She loves to run circles in the backyard. Barking and yipping at the air as she flies around the yard. She is fun to watch as you can tell she loves running. I have plans to get her into the therapy dog program and start taking her to see Jo. She has seen Jo once already and it was love at first sight for Jo. Her face lit up like a lightbulb!! So for someone who didn't think she would have another dog right now - I must say - "Thank you Lord for my newest little blessing!!"
God's Timing - We know God's timing is always perfect. But sometimes it isn't till later that we finally realize just how perfect it is. He knows our lives before we even live it and knows when things will happen. Even though we sometimes think - "when Lord" or "why Lord - why now" - He knows the reason. When I look at the picture above - I think of God's Timing. Why? This picture was taken at Cumberland Falls, Kentucky on August 19, 2008. Terri and I had taken her sister to meet her dad and brother to spend a couple weeks with them. We were taking a couple days to just enjoy some of God's Beauty in Nature. But at the same time we were quite concerned with our little dog - Fancy - who was having more and more health problems. But God in His wisdom and love - provided us with two beautiful days to enjoy the beauty He created. We walked and talked along the paths at Cumberland Falls. I took hundreds of pictures showing the beauty He has created. And He enabled us to have the time to talk to each other, with no distractions, about our little girl. Looking back at those two days, even though we didn't actually say it - I think we both knew we would be making the tough decision soon. He also gave little Fancy several days (almost 2 weeks) of feeling GREAT before we left for Kentucky. But when we came back, she was going downhill again. It was a very hard and painful thing we had to do, but I thank the Lord for giving us the time to appreciate His creations (all His creations) and the strength and courage to make the decision. We loved Fancy too much to let her be in pain.
"Thank you Lord for loving us so much, for creating such a beautiful world we live in, and for enabling us to see YOU in all your creations. Thank you for the strength and courage to let Fancy go and thank you for always being with us, especially during times of sorrow. I love you Lord so very much!!"
NO MORE BAND-AIDS ON MY CHIN!!! And here I am - for all the world to see. I saw my doctor on Thursday and he said the skin graft is looking great and I did not have to keep it covered with a band-aid anymore. I was so happy with that news. Not that I want the world to see the skin graft - as it is not very pretty - but the band-aid on my chin was driving me crazy!!! The skin graft looks SO MUCH better now than it did 2 weeks ago. Then it still looked good according to the doctor but it was much redder and very puffy. Now I go back in 2 months and will have my chin numbed AGAIN (I hate that part - it hurts very badly). Then he will "smooth" the graft and he said one probably wouldn't even notice I had a skin graft done. I have another appointment with my regular dermatologist on October 3rd. He will be doing a complete check all over for any irregular or suspicious looking moles. I have two on my back that need checked - I hope they will not be melanomas. But if they are - we will deal with it like we did this one. God is always with me and is beside me in all things. Hope the picture didn't "gross" you all out but it is me and it is healing!!! Praise God!!!
Fancy - our baby - our almost 12-year old "baby". You gave so much love to us and you fought so hard with so many problems all your life. You had so many health issues and illnesses, yet you overcame them and kept living and loving. But the last few months have been difficult. Watching you breathing hard, having diarrhea, vomiting, and just feeling so poorly - knowing your liver was getting worse - all of that was very hard to watch. The last couple weeks - you had several very very good days and then you went downhill again and we just didn't want you to continue to get worse and worse. You were not enjoying your life and we could not let you be in pain anymore. So the very difficult and painful decision was made. We cried and cried. And I held you in my arms for the last time Monday morning as we let you go. No more pain, no more vomiting, no more constant diarrhea, no seizures. Now I like to think you are running and playing and enjoying yourself with Thea. And I know God will be watching over you and I already feel His comfort and love for me and someday I will see both you and Thea again and hold you both in my arms. I will always love you little "Fancy Pants."
"Tomorrow" - It will soon be here. In just a few more hours I will be spending several hours at the Skin and Cancer Center having the melanoma removed. Am I anxious about it? Yes. Am I afraid and worried? Trying not to be but it does creep in there. Am I praying and trusting in the Lord? YES!! I know it is going to hurt and I know it will hurt afterwards, but it will all be ok as long as all the cancer is removed. Terri gave me this little card yesterday and it says it all. I will be taking it with me and will have it with me during the whole time.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3
the trees are almost bare. Winter is coming whether I like it or not.
