Just one of those days - you know - the kind where you try to keep busy so you won't think about the things that are really on your mind. Then you get home and BAM - that's all you can think about. Feels like being on a rollercoaster - up, down and twisting around.
Yesterday, we put Thea on a stronger dose of prednisone and added another pain reliever. She seems to feel a little better but again tonight before it was time to give the evening medication, she couldn't even put weight on her left leg and her head was tilted over again. She is not crying like she did the other night, but I know it must hurt or she would be walking on the leg. And then yesterday, Fancy was not feeling well. Did more x-rays and she definitely has pneumonia and it looks worse than the x-rays on Friday. And again, this morning, she was breathing hard and would not eat all her breakfast. She is getting fluids but still is lethargic most of the time. At times I feel like I cannot handle another problem and especially any more problems with my "girls". I try to hold it all inside cause I know if I talk about it too much, I am afraid I will totally lose it. And maybe I should let go - maybe that would help. But so far, I have not let it get out.
I am still very thankful for each day I have with my little "blessings" and I know in my heart that God will be with me each day and help me through all the emotions and fears. "Thank you Lord for loving me so much."
3 comments:
I think you need to let it go! God gave you emotions for a reason. The more you hold them inside the more the outside exsistence will become a struggle. Everything will focus on not letting emotions slip through. Allow yourself to grieve...it is natural to fear death. We cannot see the after and that limits our perspective of what is to come.
Now while I am encouraging you to grieve, I am not promoting that you stay in a pit over it. You will need to regroup and move on. Enjoy each day and live like it is the last. (even with Jenna) We have no gurantee of tomorrow. Live, love and laugh much today!
I love you, friend. I do understand what you are going through. It is something that I am more familiar with that I would like to be.
Even tears that we shed over our pets, God still holds each one in His hand.
I didn't lecture did I? I really didn't mean to if I did.
You haven't called to tell me how sick Thea has been! She is a trooper! I wish we could keep our beloved pets forever! They are always with us in our hearts though...I know Bonnie is in mine.
I love you sister!
I just got on your blog for the first time in awhile and found out about
Thea. I know what you are going thru and the hardest thing is to make that decision. We had to make it with Jacob but then he went on his own, which we are very grateful for as we still second guess our actions and think maybe if we hadn't taken him to the hospital he would have been with us a few more days. But when it is time you just have to let go, and it is so hard. You are in my prayers as well as Thea and Fancy. They are little troopers but don't let them suffer because you can't let go. I hope you don't think I am preaching. I just know how much we loved Jacob and what a hard time we had after he was gone and still do. I still get lonesome for him he was such a special little guy. So I know exactly what you are feeling and I wish I could help you with the hurt but it is something we have to go through when we lose our special freind. I love you and am here for you if you just need to cry and talk about your feelings. Love Pat
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